Actually, that first thing isn't really happening.
Due to this current long flare and other flares before that my physical activity has been limited. Kevin and I try to go for walks in the evening but it's difficult with high temperatures and my sun sensitivity. It's annoying to put on SPF 80 and a big hat just to take the dog to poop. So, I do what I can.
Ever since I started showing symptoms activities slowly began to become off-limits for me. I was injured Junior year of tennis and just never went back. I loved tennis. I haven't played in years due to a combo of sun sensitivity, cold sensitivity, and joint pain. I have a $200 racket(Probably $50 now) and a hopper full of tennis balls in our front closet. I lifted weights in high school with a group of football and basketball players- I loved maxing out and seeing the results. Running calms me but my knees won't take it anymore. It's incredibly frustrating.
For awhile I was trying to get into X Bike classes at my gym (Because my Rhuem told me to never, ever, ever run again). They're basically spinning classes but the handlebars move so it's a bit more of a full body workout. I was doing really great for awhile- I was improving my cardio (I have asthma so that's pretty cool) and my legs didn't give out after stepping off the bike anymore. I was really excited. Then one flare after another happened. Each time I would try going back to notice that I couldn't ride quite as hard or I needed to "swoop" a bit more than usual. I would start making progress, slowly, only to be disappointed with another week or two away from the bike. I'm debating whether or not to go back.
As a result, I haven't been to the gym in ages. For someone as cheap as I am, I feel terrible about the $$ lost in dues. Going while I'm feeling "off" isn't a good idea though. A small amount of creaking in my knees while I'm on the elliptical can very quickly lead to me gimping around the next day.
As I said in a previous post, I do attend PT twice a week. I go for 30 minutes with Don for stretches and such and 1 hour in the pool (usually with Mary, she's great). On good days in the pool I can get a great workout in. On bad days I let the water soothe my body and congratulate myself for even getting in the water- even if it's just to walk around.
Now, I know a lot of people wouldn't mind having an excuse to sit around. My doc told me that most lupus patients don't die from lupus complications. Rather, they die from turning into a fat-ass and developing heart problems. I'm a very active person and I LOVE working out, so I will NOT let this become me. I'm going to be very determined about this.
As a result of all this couch potato-ness I've decided to eat healthier. I used to be able to eat whatever I liked and stay steady at one weight (while looking very trim I may add). Now I'm heavier than I used to be. By no means am I fat or overweight, but I'm not where I used to be. I don't have the time during school or the energy (usually this) to do what it takes to maintain. So, I've subscribed to Cooking Light. This magazine is actually VERY good. I usually find a large handful of recipes in each edition that I want to try. Most are delicious.
Very recently I've started watching calories. I try to keep it at around 1500 a day. I use all whole grains and enjoy lots of protein and good types of fats (olive oil, omega 3's, etc). I still manage to sneak in a drink eat day too and usually something sweet. I haven't felt deprived, yet. For helpful tools aside from Cooking Light I've also been using Eat This, Not That , my mother-in-law (who works for Weight Watchers), and occasionally Hungry Girl. It's all a matter of personal preference, I think. For me the biggest keys are portion control (usually in terms of carbs or steak... or wine...) and eating food that TASTES good. I'm a cook, I won't eat something that tastes weird or has a funny consistency just to get back to a size 4.
Most of all I'm working on being happier with myself. Kevin still finds me attractive and I still get the occasional frat boy at school who checks me out. I just don't worry about the numbers- I haven't weighed myself in quite some time. There's no point in obsessing over that number when I can't really do much about it.
I'm just going to continue being proud of what I can do, like making a healthy dinner tonight and taking a walk on the trail with Kev and Spartacus.
No comments:
Post a Comment