Friday, November 4, 2011

Lots on my mind

Today I have quite a bit on my mind.
This week has actually been more eventful than usual, and that's not just because I found a new show to watch:

Another strong jawline to enjoy. The superman abs aren't too shabs, either.
Tom Welling isn't what I've been thinking about, though.

I started my volunteer time with the local domestic violence/sexual assault agency.  I worked the crisis line on Tuesday for three hours.  Wouldn't you know it- no one was in crisis for the entire shift!  Just what this bored social worker needed!  Thursday I was on call for SART- the sexual assault response team.  Nada (not too shocking, sexual assaults are, thankfully, not too common).  I'm on call for the overnight shift tonight, maybe I'll see some action.

In the meanwhile, I've been pondering a support group that I could get started for the agency. After assault, it can be difficult for individuals to reclaim their sexuality in a healthy manner.  I would like to help those who were victims of marital rape, date/acquaintance rape, molest, etc, and I would like to help to agency by creating this curricula and the tools to evaluate the effectiveness (evidence-based practice, ftw!).  The clinical staff is very busy, however, and I'm finding it hard to stand by while my social worker skills get rusty.  So, I've been doing some research.

When I'm not trying my hardest to volunteer against the agency's will, I scour craigslist, governmentjobs.com, and county websites looking for openings.  I applied to a few more part-time jobs this week, but all is quiet on the employment front.  I keep thinking more and more about my future.  Will I ever be able to work full time?  How am I supposed to get experience if I never get a job?  How am I going to get my license?  It will take years to get all the clinical hours.  Until I get a new job my resume is looking pretty vacant.  So, I've been looking at PhD. programs and wondering if I shouldn't just go right into it.  School is easy- sitting all day does kill me, but it doesn't really take any energy.  The PhD program I'm looking at requires the GRE- I think they almost all do.  Did you know that there's no calculators allowed during the test?  I really should have learned to do long multiplication (the problem with being transferred to the "advanced class" right when they were teaching that). Also, analogies are the bane of my existence.

Shut up, Mr. Smiley Face. (Source)

It doesn't help that I'm not doing super well this week.  It may be the kidney infection and/or the antibiotics, but I'm just not bouncing back.  My physical therapy sessions have been leaving me exhausted, my sleep hasn't been restful, and I have wonderful moments of fatigue, chills/hot flashes, nausea, and dizziness.  It just makes me want to curl up with my dog and Tom Welling.
Swoon.
I feel better already.
So, that's what I had been thinking about today- support groups, long multiplication, clinical licenses.  And babies.  Always babies.  Then, my twin sister called me not too long ago to let me know that Mama wasn't feeling too well.

Now, the biggest thing on my mind is my grandmother.  Mama and Papa (that's what I call them) raised me and my siblings.  For lack of anyone else to fill the role (RIP, Mom), they were my parents and will always be my parents.  Earlier today she was taken to the hospital with possible pneumonia and hypoxia.  So far, it's not super serious, but I'm a worrier. Makes my own current issues seem a bit less significant.  However, it doesn't make me stop thinking about the future- especially my strong desire that she be in it for a very long time.

I already had a trip planned up to Spokane- leaving next Tuesday- to go meet my brand new nephew, Logan Scott.  Sooner now, if necessary. I hope my very small group of readers will keep her in their thoughts.

Ballin' on her scooter with my nephew, Riley

Back in the day, it seemed that I could conquer my lupus to take care of Mama.  No matter how crappy I felt, I could always rally when she needed me.
Who or what seems to defy the lupus-odds in your life?

1 comment:

  1. Keeping your Mama in my prayers.

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