Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Dear sciatica,

Dear sciatica,
I was just bragging today how you've stopped bugging me since I've begun taking the gabapentin again. Then you had to go and damn near ruin my enjoyment of the newest Harry Potter movie with your nonsense. Now I have to take a vicodin instead of enjoying the nice bottle of wine my husband opened tonight.
I hate you.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Giving thanks a bit early

I’m very fortunate.  I believe I state that in around half of my blog posts.  I got my blood work back and met with my rheumatologist on Thursday.  No anemia and no kidney damage.  My lupus is obviously very rampant- I’ve been feeling it for two months now.  I have 21 days left in the semester and four days of classes left.  But I’m going to make it.
My friend is less fortunate right now.  She’s been my vision of what the future will be.  Her lupus was bad when she was my age but things have been wonderful for her recently.  She was even thinking about having a baby soon.  Her last blood test wasn’t as great as mine.
I’m keeping her in my thoughts as I sit in class and stare at her empty seat.  This semester has  been difficult.  Professors admit that the Fall semester in the second year of grad school is the hardest.  Everyone is interning three days a week, there are classes to attend, and most of us are working to write our thesis.  Then, of course, there’s life.  I was speaking t another MSW student yesterday about how I realized with dread tat Christmas as quickly approaching.  I have to think of presents, of cookies, and of how to navigate the drama of splitting times between two families and my friends.  Absolute dread.
One aspect of my lupus that I’m focusing on is the sciatica and migraines I’ve been suffering through for this semester.  I had finally reached my breaking point.  Almost daily my leg would hurt from the middle of my ass down to my toes.  And it was making me tired.  So, I’ve started Gabapentin again.  I was on it when my sciatica first started a few years ago.  It seems to be working- at least today my sciatic pain is just a twinge.  It’s nice to see a positive change.
Another positive note: I’m officially losing weight.  My doctor freaked for a few minutes- thinking it was a drug side effect or my lupus or maybe I just wasn’t eating.  I informed him of my diet and also told him that I haven’t been able to exercise.  He then asked me with a very serious face if I couldn’t exercise due to pain or due to time.  I told him both, and then laughed a bit.
If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.  Right?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Holy crap- it's been a month!

It's amazing how quickly my stress level skyrocketed after Halloween.  My thesis advisor has made it clear that I need to have a substantial amount of work done in my Literature Review in order for it to count as a draft.  That, coupled with the Human Subjects Application, regular papers and projects, my internship, and life... and I've been super stressed.  And you know hat happens when I get stressed....
....flares.  Lots of them.  I've been trying to put on my big girl panties and take my steroids when the pain starts interfering with my work or school.  But it seems like by the third day of being on the steroids I start feeling like I'm getting a normal-person cold.  So, then I go off of the steroids.  I have one or two good days after that and then the whole thing starts all over again.  It's pretty exhausting. And frustrating.
My big bro started a blog yesterday on his journey to law school, which made me think I should start writing again.  It's definitely therapeutic.  With these last few weeks I need a bit of therapy.
For now I have to go work on an editorial piece about CPS.  I plan to write later this week about how my diet is coming along.  Also, I have a doc appointment on Thursday.  Cross your fingers for no kidney damage!