I know I said I was done with my thesis and was going to write more. I'm a bad kid. After I finished my abstract I still needed to hunt down signatures right in the middle of a hectic time at work. Insert a couple busy weeks between my last post and now. Did I mention all of my physical therapists were out for those weeks too? Craziness.
Plus, lots has been going on with me in the health department. A couple weeks ago (during that signature hunting, busy internship time) my throat and glands got super swollen. I couldn't drink water. It was intense. Then the throat calmed down and I started hacking up a lung. I sounded super sick, all the time- including at night. Poor Hubby. I was really tired, but my abs got a great workout. My doctor said I had bronchitis. I went through tons of cough drops trying to sit in a courtroom without my hacking interrupting things. Thankfully, it now seems to mostly have cleared up. Right as my cough was improving a bit, I got a double ear infection. According to my PCP, people with compromised immune systems (Hey-o!) tend to get one infection after another when they get sick. Entrance stage right some prescription ear drops. Today, my throat is a tiny bit sore and there's still some lingering phlegm, but that's no longer my biggest complaint. Hopefully, the reign of the infections is over.
Now, the biggest frustration of the past ten days: I have been bleeding, heavily, non-stop. It started out seemingly normal, and then got crazy. Let me emphasize: TEN DAYS... and COUNTING! I won't go into the details of flow, appearance, etc., but it definitely wasn't normal. Plus, my usual first day of abdominal cramps and lower back pain also stretched itself well into a week. It's the worst thing ever.
People with lupus get lots of fun "add-ons" with their disease. For example, I have antiphospholipid syndrome, a thing which means I clot too much. So, I take baby aspirin. Sometimes. This can cause issues for women. I'll come back to this.
Autoimmune disorders are also one of the top ten reasons for menorrhagia- or heavy menstrual bleeding. However, from my brief research on that condition, it is usually a regular experience for women on a month-
to-month basis. Let me emphasize that this has never happened to me before.
I've been googling a lot with this going on. My PCP couldn't get me in until Monday and it is a bit worrisome. So, back to the antiphospholipid syndrome. This is a common condition that people with lupus have. The likelihood of increased clotting puts women with lupus at an increased risk of miscarriage.
Yes, it's a scary word. Miscarriage. To clarify- we're not working on starting a family at the moment, I don't know if I was pregnant or not, and it's still unsure of whether or not this bleeding thing is a miscarriage. But mostly I just want this thing to be finished.
So here's the pep-talk: Sometimes, life is one terrible thing after another. Car accident. Whiplash. Bronchitis. Ear Infection. Feeling like you're bleeding to death through your vagina (graphic, I know... I'm terrible, sorry...). These things suck. These things also pass. What doesn't pass, if your don't let it, is joy- my husband, my dog who can detect sadness, a purpose-driven life, nephews and nieces, and more. It can be hard to focus on those when you feel like you can't catch a break- but I encourage you to try. I don't want to be that person who lingers only on the bad or who buys a McChicken Mini Meal and devours it, while crying, in her car in front of Walgreens. Hey... no judgement in blog land- and you would cry too if you realized that the purchase of a third box of tampons was necessary for a period.
So there it is, readers: Don't let joy pass, it's there- you're probably just too discouraged and whiney to notice it. Hang in there, It's time to work towards the top of the mountain again.
Today I'm going to go for a walk with Spartacus and Kevin and enjoy the California wildflowers. Hopefully more blog posts will come soon.