Am I annoying you yet?

I really feel like I've been bragging.  Yes, I'm still unemployed and on a budget (frownie face), so I have a ton of free time that's hard to fill without spending money.  I feel like I'm in a perpetual state of cleaning the kitchen and the bathrooms.  But things are actually quite awesome- as I keep telling anyone who calls, emails, texts, or writes on my Facebook wall.  I think I'm getting to be obnoxious with my positivity.  BTW, my spell checker is telling me that positivity isn't a word.  Spell checker ain't going to bring me down!

All smiley and stuff with my BFF, Cassie

As you can tell from my sporadic posts, I'm feeling really well.

Why is it easier to write when you have negative things to say?

Eh, I'm only human.  So, because I've been feeling well I've been spending a lot of time at the gym, or on my bike.  I've been walking every morning with the dog, followed by a workout.  I'm continuing to use my Three Minute Eggs and the accompanying video, Healthy Alignment, to keep my spine all happy. Here's one of my favorite poses:

I'm sorry the freeze frame for the video is of his crouch.  I have no control over these things.

Pilates at my physical therapy office is fantastic.  Usually after pilates I head to the gym for some time on the arc trainer or the elliptical.  I've been using resistance bands to pay attention to my arms.

It's just phenomenal.  Today, I went for an hour long, brisk walk with my dog (hips are feelin' good!). I did yoga (no wrist pain!), did the dishes (no hand swelling!) and got down on the floor to scrub out the fridge (and I was able to get up, afterwards!).  After blogging, I'm going to get on my bike and watch the newest Grey's.  I wonder if Meredith and McDreamy will ever patch things up...?

I digress...

The point is, it wasn't too long ago that starting my day was a painful process- getting out of bed, zipping up my jeans, tying my shoes.  Eight hours of classes, then calling Kevin from my parked car in front of the apartment because I needed help standing up and walking in to the couch.  And forget about spending some "married time" with my hubby.  How far I've come since then brings tears of joy to my eyes.  So, yes, I'm going to keep bragging and shouting it from the rooftops.  I hope that when you have good days, or good hours, or just a good moment, you do the same.  

So, am I annoying anyone yet?  Or is my positivity (I swear, it's a word, dammit!) a refreshing change?


Stay tuned for my plans for this healthy streak, as well as an experiment I'm planning on conducting tomorrow!

No excuses.

*Warning* Lady-bits related material below! *Warning*

One of my last posts was about why I haven't been posting as much.  It involved an awesome book series.  I've since finished that book series and moved onto another:

I started it on Friday.  I'm already on the third and final book.  It's ridonkulous.

But, as I said... no excuses.  The real reason is that I've been lacking energy and motivation.  This has been caused by an episode of bleeding similar to last time.  What I don't think I mentioned is that the last time finally clocked in at 19 days total.  It was somewhere around that time that I got myself a real grown-up ob-gyn to to deal with my lady bits.  The nurse practitioner I saw (after it ended, unfortunately) said it could be any number of things, and that if it happens again I should call and schedule another appointment.

Ringgggg...... riiiiiing......... riinng.......

This one is a bit more crazy than the last time because it started while I was on my active pills.  *shakes fist at the BC gods*  

So, I haven't been in the mood.  I'm aware that blogs about chronic illness should persevere even when the illness- or whatever- is active.  I think that's why I feel so badly.

If it makes you feel better, I was just probed in my NP's quest to figure out what's going on.  Ladies, you know what I'm talking about.  Men... uh...google it or ask your ladies.

I'm back, with a pep-talk!

WARNING: This post will have medical issues in it related to my lupus. This is a lupus blog, after all. If you start getting the feeling that this is TMI, you can always not read it. That's the power of self-determination.

I know I said I was done with my thesis and was going to write more.  I'm a bad kid. After I finished my abstract I still needed to hunt down signatures right in the middle of a hectic time at work. Insert a couple busy weeks between my last post and now.  Did I mention all of my physical therapists were out for those weeks too?  Craziness.

Plus, lots has been going on with me in the health department. A couple weeks ago (during that signature hunting, busy internship time) my throat and glands got super swollen. I couldn't drink water. It was intense. Then the throat calmed down and I started hacking up a lung. I sounded super sick, all the time- including at night. Poor Hubby. I was really tired, but my abs got a great workout. My doctor said I had bronchitis. I went through tons of cough drops trying to sit in a courtroom without my hacking interrupting things. Thankfully, it now seems to mostly have cleared up. Right as my cough was improving a bit, I got a double ear infection. According to my PCP, people with compromised immune systems (Hey-o!) tend to get one infection after another when they get sick. Entrance stage right some prescription ear drops. Today, my throat is a tiny bit sore and there's still some lingering phlegm, but that's no longer my biggest complaint. Hopefully, the reign of the infections is over.

Now, the biggest frustration of the past ten days: I have been bleeding, heavily, non-stop. It started out seemingly normal, and then got crazy. Let me emphasize: TEN DAYS... and COUNTING! I won't go into the details of flow, appearance, etc., but it definitely wasn't normal.  Plus, my usual first day of abdominal cramps and lower back pain also stretched itself well into a week.  It's the worst thing ever.

People with lupus get lots of fun "add-ons" with their disease. For example, I have antiphospholipid syndrome, a thing which means I clot too much. So, I take baby aspirin. Sometimes. This can cause issues for women. I'll come back to this.

Autoimmune disorders are also one of the top ten reasons for menorrhagia- or heavy menstrual bleeding. However, from my brief research on that condition, it is usually a regular experience for women on a month-
to-month basis. Let me emphasize that this has never happened to me before.

I've been googling a lot with this going on. My PCP couldn't get me in until Monday and it is a bit worrisome. So, back to the antiphospholipid syndrome. This is a common condition that people with lupus have. The likelihood of increased clotting puts women with lupus at an increased risk of miscarriage.

Yes, it's a scary word.  Miscarriage.  To clarify- we're not working on starting a family at the moment, I don't know if I was pregnant or not, and it's still unsure of whether or not this bleeding thing is a miscarriage.  But mostly I just want this thing to be finished.  

So here's the pep-talk:  Sometimes, life is one terrible thing after another.  Car accident.  Whiplash.  Bronchitis.  Ear Infection. Feeling like you're bleeding to death through your vagina (graphic, I know... I'm terrible, sorry...).  These things suck.  These things also pass.  What doesn't pass, if your don't let it, is joy- my husband, my dog who can detect sadness, a purpose-driven life, nephews and nieces, and more.   It can be hard to focus on those when you feel like you can't catch a break- but I encourage you to try.  I don't want to be that person who lingers only on the bad or who buys a McChicken Mini Meal and devours it, while crying, in her car in front of Walgreens. Hey... no judgement in blog land- and you would cry too if you realized that the purchase of a third box of tampons was necessary for a period.  

So there it is, readers: Don't let joy pass, it's there- you're probably just too discouraged and whiney to notice it.  Hang in there, It's time to work towards the top of the mountain again.

Today I'm going to go for a walk with Spartacus and Kevin and enjoy the California wildflowers.  Hopefully more blog posts will come soon.